Education, then LONG rambling rant

Originally I was going to harp on about the No Child Left Behind and state of education in America today, but there's nothing new I can really say. It seems I missed the golden age of teaching, where the educator more or less ruled the classroom and taught whatever they deemed necessary for a proper education. Today, as no doubt everyone is at least peripherally aware, educators are handcuffed to a strict code of standards in the government's effort to make education uniform and identical in every classroom across the nation. One of my professors is also a high school English teacher, and even she has very little flexibility in what novels are taught in her classes. You would think a more liberal arts subject such as literature would have some leeway in what is taught - as long as it's appropriate, you can teach it, right? But she told me that she can only work in one or two novels of her choosing a year, and the rest is regimented by the school board/district/state/federal government.

(Note: please ignore opening sentence.)

The standardizing movement is doing more harm than good. This strict formalization of education across America is rooted in an educational philosophy termed "Essentialism", which is exactly what it sounds like: students should be taught the fundamentals in the basic subjects, such as Math, English, History, and Science. This philosophy pushes other pursuits such as Drama, Visual Arts, Physical Education, and Music to the very fringes of a curriculum. The reason the government is pushing this philosophy more intensely than before can be blamed on any number of causes: America's continual middling placement among global Math and Reading scores, President Bush's attempt at having something positive associated with his term in office, or a reaction and fail-safe against the overall lack of talent found in educators. No matter what the reason, it boils down to the homogenization of education in the nation, just like our housing, shopping, and culinary options have. This is to the detriment of our students and will further scare talented teachers away from the field of public education (as low salaries, little respect, and handicapping from parents and legal systems already do.)

(Now for something different.)

I haven't been able to write anything funny or make any jokes recently because for the past month or so I've been in a pretty bad place and it looks like it'll get worse before it gets better. I did finally get a job - in a restaurant that doesn't open until April 29th. The job market around here is so stagnant that the only job I could get was in a brand new restaurant 30 miles south of my apartment. Getting there will be a real hoot too, since my car was totaled last week by a fucking AAA driver who's so old his claim number was "00000-2" and by a gigantic Suburban driven by a tiny Hispanic woman. I'm sure I've mentioned that construction is rampant in these parts. Additionally, the interim roadways the geniuses at the CA DOT have provided are narrower and more dangerous than a badger's asshole.

Here's the skinny: the on-ramp at one of these improvised stunt tracks/heavily used roadways is about 150 feet long and simply meets the freeway at a 35-degree angle, with no merge lane whatsoever. Additionally, the shoulder is comprised of seven-foot tall concrete barriers sitting inches from the so-called on-ramp. Also additionally, the next exit from this on-ramp is a total clusterfuck where two highways and an interstate converge and diverge in the space of one-fifth of a mile. So anyway, I am proceeding down the on-ramp at typical merging speed: 45 mph. One especially wants to be up to speed because I said, there is no merging lane, you just have to get the fuck over at speed or slam your face into two feet of concrete.

So it's 10 am, past rush hour, traffic is medium heavy but moving at a good clip, with no stopping/starting. Tra la la, here I go, oh wait, what's this? Why is this gigantic Suburban 75 feet in front of me slowing down and stopping? One second goes by - at 50 mph that's 73 feet - and in that time I have to make a decision. I slam on my brakes while honking my horn, put on my left blinker and because I have so little room to stop and cannot pull to the shoulder on the right, must try and merge to the freeway. Unfortunately, the fucking dumb shit bitch has stopped her Suburban at the point where the on-ramp and the freeway meet, effectively blocking both lanes. I cannot merge without blindly throwing myself across two freeway lanes of heavy traffic. I have no choice but to try and screech to a halt. I do, inches from the Suburban. A late 1970's pure steel pickup truck slams into the back of me. My Honda, weighing all of 700 pounds with me inside, is launched forward under the Suburban's bumper. Damage done to the pick up: pretty bad. Damage done to the Honda: total loss. Damage done to the Suburban: none. NONE. In fact, she almost drove off, I wrote down her plate while honking to get that dumb bitch to pull over. So what is her excuse for stopping the Suburban on a freeway on-ramp/lane of traffic in a construction zone with no shoulder and heavy traffic??? Could it be something legitimate like her car died or the transmission exploded or she had just seen a vision of God in her tortilla who told her to stop the car so He could start the Rapture? Nope! It's so bad, I swear I almost pushed her into traffic. I almost murdered this woman. And you think I'm going to say she was on her cell phone, right? Well guess again, it's even better than that. Ready?

THE BABY WAS CRYING AND SHE WAS NERVOUS.

Oh, oh no! The baby was crying at you! Well by all means please go ahead and continue acting like you're the only creature here on this Earth and tend to whatever little need right away! Never mind that you're driving a behemoth of an automobile, or that you're so small you probably need a two fucking L.A. phonebooks just to see out the windshield, or that you're trying to merge onto one of the busiest freeways in Riverside while the entire thing is under construction! No! No no no, please, don't let any of that bother you. You were nervous? THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING DRIVING A TWO-TON, TWENTY-FIVE FOOT ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION?!? If you're so incapable, incompetent, so below normal functioning then what the fuck are you doing outside of your cage, let alone reproducing, let alone being allowed to operate a motor vehicle when you should be locked up in a cosmetics factory and have oven cleaner shot into your eyeballs while bunnies and puppies that would normally take that punishment be allowed to run free, where even if all they do in their short lives is fuck and shit, they will have accomplished so much more than you ever will, you damn worthless monkey!

.........Whew. Sorry. That's a lot of frustration coming out at once, and not just about the car. The car is a total loss, I'll get about $1200 from insurance. So I've got to find a new car, and quick, because starting next Monday I need to be at Corona HS every morning for six weeks. There's also a whole host of other shit going on right now, but I'm so angry after retelling the car wreck that I need a break, and besides who the fuck wants to listen to me complain. I would really enjoy a nice hot shower right now, but oh wait, guess what? Not only have we not had hot water since January, but we haven't had running water at all today. How about a shower and a shit? No sir! Can't flush, can't wash, can't drink, can't brush your teeth. Hoo-ray for today.