Coming to your Cit-tay

The weak are not remembered. The faint of heart, the uncommitted are left behind in the annals of history. Persons can embody truth, but it is difficult; much more common are those flimsy paper cut-outs of people, flitting through the world as the wind directs, never carrying enough weight to choose their own direction.

So that's why I'm sitting on the couch at 7:02 a.m., drinking a Dos XX, watching the College Gameday introduction. Big 'n Rich 'n the black guy in a county band telling me that they're coming to my cit-tay. I know this isn't true - maybe if I was somewhere on the east coast, back in Atlanta or Athens, I could believe they're fiddle-backed rap. But here, on the west coast, the sun hasn't risen yet. There is no dawn mist to disperse. When the sun does rise, it'll be hotter than a camel's ass, even though it is the end of October. This is not a place where college is known. Education is not embraced. Shit, high school is not embraced. So expecting to find college football fans is ludicrious.

That's why I'm sitting on my couch at 7:23 a.m. with half a beer next to me. Because there's nowhere else to go for a college football fan. Nowhere is open, and when they do, they will be showing UCLA vs. Cal, and Michigan State vs. Michigan. I cannot think of two stupider games to watch in the history of competition. Because you know what else is showing at the same time? #6 OSU vs. #1 Texas. But not here. For some reason. God I hate California.

And that's why I'm sitting on my couch at 7:30 a.m. with the last dregs of a beer. I'm fighting against the winds out here, trying to hold on to the things that I love, even if they are as silly as college football. So as the sun finally crests the stupid desert mountains, as Leslee tells me that the Bender Ball is FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHT PERCENT MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A SIT-UP, as I finish my first beer of the morning, I just have to sit up and smile and keep my hopes up... because later Gameday is doing a special on why Georgia will upset LSU.