Beer Five

9:08 Blackberry Witbier. I'll say going in that I have no clue what Witbier means. Let's give it a try... This is a Smirnoff Ice with a Sam Adams label. Fuck.

9:11 Fuck Grapefruit.

9:12 George Carlin talking about giving head to truckers is weird, cause he's grandpa age (and alive) in this movie.

9:15 Freudian Slip: When typing George, I twice typed "Georgia".

9:18 This beer is a fucking travesty. I'm sorry - this is not beer. It is diabetes-inducing swill. Hey, Shannon Elizabeth is very attractive. Also, Elisha Dushku and Ali Larter dancing to Run DMC. And Kevin Smith's wife, in the ultimate "You're way out of my league but if I put you in movies you'll be my wife" move. And Sean William Scott!

9:24 Note to self: Find some way to call someone a sheep fucker.

9:27 I am choking this swill down in a hurried fashion. My insulin-producing cells are freaking out. Not cool, Sam. Losing tons of respect for the Sam Adams brand. This brew has caused me to stop thinking of Sam Adams as a reliable brand. That is very poor, Blackberry Witbier. I used to like Sam Adams.

Variety Show

For dinner tonight, I had a salad. BUT NOT JUST ANY SALAD. Oh no my friends. A salad with strawberries and peaches, red bell pepper, sauteed onions and fried tofu, organic roasted garlic balsamic vinaigrette and goat cheese. That's what I call an Emperor Salad.

I've also got a Sam Adams Summer Variety 12-pack, which I fully intend on sampling to the fullest tonight. I've also got Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which I really rented only to watch one scene: "What the fuck is the internet?"

Quick thoughts: Watching Lebron James play is like watching the New Testament live. Kanye West's "Amazing" song is a stupid anthem for this year's playoffs. It's slow, quiet and faded, and is itself in no way amazing or able to inspire amazing things. And you know who I think of when I think great drama? Steven motherfucking Botchko.