http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&ie=UTF8&msa=0&msid=106212521568035882004.00045bb7819236c3696ea&t=h&ll=33.872696,-117.6931&spn=0.199537,0.33989&source=embed
We live in Chino Hills, right neat Alterra Park. We're bordered by two arms of the "Freeway Fire", as they're calling it, and can see smoke and sometimes flames from our apartment. It's very nerve-wracking, having never been through this kind of disaster. Fires are much different than Georgia natural disasters, which include mostly tornadoes. A tornado is over in a night; a wildfire can last a week and shift direction with little warning. Right now we are on the edge of the evacuation lines. That is to say, we are close enough to the fire to consider evacuating somewhere, but not actually in any direct danger. So basically we have to stay awake and ready to go should the alarm be raised. The gas station down the street from us is being used to refuel CA Fire Department vehicles, ranging from ambulances to water trucks to general service vehicles. Exciting? No, no thank you. I'll pass on the fires.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Read This Now
Excellent behind the scenes stories and information on the campaign from Newsweek. Some of this stuff is great.
Barack Obama: How He Did It
John McCain: Back From the Dead?
The Long Clinton-Obama Siege
McCain Camp Retools, Targets Obama
Conventions: Obama Sweats the Clintons, McCain Gambles on Palin
Battling It Out in the Great Debates
The Final Days
Not sure if these are going to be published in print, each "chapter" is pretty long. Enjoy!
Barack Obama: How He Did It
John McCain: Back From the Dead?
The Long Clinton-Obama Siege
McCain Camp Retools, Targets Obama
Conventions: Obama Sweats the Clintons, McCain Gambles on Palin
Battling It Out in the Great Debates
The Final Days
Not sure if these are going to be published in print, each "chapter" is pretty long. Enjoy!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Coming to your Cit-tay
The weak are not remembered. The faint of heart, the uncommitted are left behind in the annals of history. Persons can embody truth, but it is difficult; much more common are those flimsy paper cut-outs of people, flitting through the world as the wind directs, never carrying enough weight to choose their own direction.
So that's why I'm sitting on the couch at 7:02 a.m., drinking a Dos XX, watching the College Gameday introduction. Big 'n Rich 'n the black guy in a county band telling me that they're coming to my cit-tay. I know this isn't true - maybe if I was somewhere on the east coast, back in Atlanta or Athens, I could believe they're fiddle-backed rap. But here, on the west coast, the sun hasn't risen yet. There is no dawn mist to disperse. When the sun does rise, it'll be hotter than a camel's ass, even though it is the end of October. This is not a place where college is known. Education is not embraced. Shit, high school is not embraced. So expecting to find college football fans is ludicrious.
That's why I'm sitting on my couch at 7:23 a.m. with half a beer next to me. Because there's nowhere else to go for a college football fan. Nowhere is open, and when they do, they will be showing UCLA vs. Cal, and Michigan State vs. Michigan. I cannot think of two stupider games to watch in the history of competition. Because you know what else is showing at the same time? #6 OSU vs. #1 Texas. But not here. For some reason. God I hate California.
And that's why I'm sitting on my couch at 7:30 a.m. with the last dregs of a beer. I'm fighting against the winds out here, trying to hold on to the things that I love, even if they are as silly as college football. So as the sun finally crests the stupid desert mountains, as Leslee tells me that the Bender Ball is FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHT PERCENT MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A SIT-UP, as I finish my first beer of the morning, I just have to sit up and smile and keep my hopes up... because later Gameday is doing a special on why Georgia will upset LSU.
So that's why I'm sitting on the couch at 7:02 a.m., drinking a Dos XX, watching the College Gameday introduction. Big 'n Rich 'n the black guy in a county band telling me that they're coming to my cit-tay. I know this isn't true - maybe if I was somewhere on the east coast, back in Atlanta or Athens, I could believe they're fiddle-backed rap. But here, on the west coast, the sun hasn't risen yet. There is no dawn mist to disperse. When the sun does rise, it'll be hotter than a camel's ass, even though it is the end of October. This is not a place where college is known. Education is not embraced. Shit, high school is not embraced. So expecting to find college football fans is ludicrious.
That's why I'm sitting on my couch at 7:23 a.m. with half a beer next to me. Because there's nowhere else to go for a college football fan. Nowhere is open, and when they do, they will be showing UCLA vs. Cal, and Michigan State vs. Michigan. I cannot think of two stupider games to watch in the history of competition. Because you know what else is showing at the same time? #6 OSU vs. #1 Texas. But not here. For some reason. God I hate California.
And that's why I'm sitting on my couch at 7:30 a.m. with the last dregs of a beer. I'm fighting against the winds out here, trying to hold on to the things that I love, even if they are as silly as college football. So as the sun finally crests the stupid desert mountains, as Leslee tells me that the Bender Ball is FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHT PERCENT MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A SIT-UP, as I finish my first beer of the morning, I just have to sit up and smile and keep my hopes up... because later Gameday is doing a special on why Georgia will upset LSU.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Mystery Box of Beer
Went to BevMo today. Looking for Sam Adams variety pack that didn't contain The Scotch Ale, a.k.a. The Worst Liquid Ever. No good. Wandering, wandering... what's this? Mystery Box of Beer? 24 miscellaneous bottles from separated six packs? Only $16? Into the fridge with you!
So how are we to spend the night? Randomly pulling beers out and writing one-sentence reviews of them? Damn right.
Spatan - Brown, 7.9% alcohol, German... what's not to love? It's got a sweet taste with a sort of almond thing going on. It's a little syrupy and you are definitely aware of the extra alcohol.
Buffalo Bill's America's Original Pumpkin Ale - It's like drinking a clove cigarette. It's not really pumpkiny. Tiff says: I taste cinnamon. And it tastes like pumpkin. It tastes like Halloween, when it's cold outside. It smells the way Fat Man's Forest (costume shop in Augusta) smells.
Corona Light (two in a row!) - Mexican drain clog remover. Tiff says: It's like drinking weed after that last beer. There shouldn't have been two in that box. I don't think it is cursed... yet.
Another Spatan... Methinks the mystery beer box only provides a minimum of variety. Alas! At least we obtained 24 beers for the cheap. And they are not all Corona, thank the gods!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Greatest Drinking Game Ever
This game, to my knowledge, has never been attempted. It exists as a legend, a seemingly unimaginable gauntlet of poisons. It's rules are whispered among frat boys and popped collar college kids alike. Those posturing as brave even begin to talk of assembling the necessary components. But that's all it is... talk. Deep into the night, three-quarters of a keg gone, men circle around and compare potential strategies for conquering the game. I bring it to you now, in the glaring bright of day, in the hopes that some foolhardy group will finally attempt this undertaking.
It is named... ARMAGEDDON.
This game requires preparation. It requires time - a lot of it, and possibly the last hours you'll spend on this earth. It requires two teams of five. The objective: to consume the following substances before the other team. It's like a keg race from hell. The substances, per team:
1 case of beer (24)
1 bottle of liquor (whiskey, 750 mL)
1 box of wine
1/4 oz. of marijuana (potency negotiable)
1 pack of cigarettes (20)
There you have it. The Top 5 substances abused by college students and the wider public today. The by-laws of the game are debatable but should be agreed upon - in writing - before the teams begin competition. Some sort of prize should be established for the winning team, unless the challenge is just to see who has the most hair on their chest.
The brand of beer, the type of liquor and wine, the strength of the weed, and the type/brand of cigarettes are all part of the strategy. Even more involved is, who do you put on your team? Know any smokers? Do you know a guy who can kill a bottle of tequila? Then by lobbying for the liquor to be tequila, you punish the other team while taking a strategic advantage with your Mexican ace in the hole. How do you attack these substances? Do you assign one person per, or split it up? In what order? The permutations are endless!
Armageddon is not to be taken lightly. It takes a lot of preparation and a strong commitment from ten hardy competitors. Knowing no one who has attempted this game, but I would anticipate it takes hours to complete and days to recover. So the next time someone challenges your manliness, throw down this gauntlet. It's the BadAss Games! The winners will enter into legend... the survivors will be GODS!
I'm watching the third debate right now - John McCain is a cock.
It is named... ARMAGEDDON.
This game requires preparation. It requires time - a lot of it, and possibly the last hours you'll spend on this earth. It requires two teams of five. The objective: to consume the following substances before the other team. It's like a keg race from hell. The substances, per team:
1 case of beer (24)
1 bottle of liquor (whiskey, 750 mL)
1 box of wine
1/4 oz. of marijuana (potency negotiable)
1 pack of cigarettes (20)
There you have it. The Top 5 substances abused by college students and the wider public today. The by-laws of the game are debatable but should be agreed upon - in writing - before the teams begin competition. Some sort of prize should be established for the winning team, unless the challenge is just to see who has the most hair on their chest.
The brand of beer, the type of liquor and wine, the strength of the weed, and the type/brand of cigarettes are all part of the strategy. Even more involved is, who do you put on your team? Know any smokers? Do you know a guy who can kill a bottle of tequila? Then by lobbying for the liquor to be tequila, you punish the other team while taking a strategic advantage with your Mexican ace in the hole. How do you attack these substances? Do you assign one person per, or split it up? In what order? The permutations are endless!
Armageddon is not to be taken lightly. It takes a lot of preparation and a strong commitment from ten hardy competitors. Knowing no one who has attempted this game, but I would anticipate it takes hours to complete and days to recover. So the next time someone challenges your manliness, throw down this gauntlet. It's the BadAss Games! The winners will enter into legend... the survivors will be GODS!
I'm watching the third debate right now - John McCain is a cock.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Pre-Season #1!
OK, yesterday I was getting pretty rough on the Dawgs. I said some things I didn't really mean. The fact is, we dominated Tennessee, holding them on ONE rushing yard, gaining 29 first downs, and holding the ball for 42 minutes. The final score however was only 26-14. How is it possible that you gain more first downs than points?
The fact of the matter is, we haven't been as dominant on the field as the statistics may seem. We kicked FOUR field goals yesterday! How can we not get into the end zone, especially when playing at home? The announcers repeatedly pointed out that Tennessee has a very good defense, 2nd in the SEC or something, and Knowshon was the first running back to gain 100+ yards on that defense this season. But this situation is reminiscent of the game against Arizona State, in which we dominated them similarily (held ASU to 4 yards on the ground), but could only muster 27 points. We ran the ball SEVEN times from less than 5 yards out in that ASU game, and settled for a field goal and a turnover on downs. Miserable!
Pair that red zone performance with Stafford's two interceptions - both inside the opponent's 20 - and you have a team that is not as dominant as once thought. To be fair, I think all of this stems from our lack of an offensive line. Too many injuries have reduced our O-line to freshmen and sophomores, and our coaches lack of confidence is evidenced by the fact that 80% of Knowshon's touches came on swings to the outside. The only time we ran up the middle was with our fullback!
But overall, it is important to remember that we are getting the job done, even if it is not as pretty as expected. It is frustrating to see Knowshon unable to get into the secondary, where he makes all those ankle-shattering plays. It is frustrating to see our team falter in the end zone, when strong line play is key to scoring points. But as long as we're getting the W, I guess I can't complain. Go Dawgs!
The fact of the matter is, we haven't been as dominant on the field as the statistics may seem. We kicked FOUR field goals yesterday! How can we not get into the end zone, especially when playing at home? The announcers repeatedly pointed out that Tennessee has a very good defense, 2nd in the SEC or something, and Knowshon was the first running back to gain 100+ yards on that defense this season. But this situation is reminiscent of the game against Arizona State, in which we dominated them similarily (held ASU to 4 yards on the ground), but could only muster 27 points. We ran the ball SEVEN times from less than 5 yards out in that ASU game, and settled for a field goal and a turnover on downs. Miserable!
Pair that red zone performance with Stafford's two interceptions - both inside the opponent's 20 - and you have a team that is not as dominant as once thought. To be fair, I think all of this stems from our lack of an offensive line. Too many injuries have reduced our O-line to freshmen and sophomores, and our coaches lack of confidence is evidenced by the fact that 80% of Knowshon's touches came on swings to the outside. The only time we ran up the middle was with our fullback!
But overall, it is important to remember that we are getting the job done, even if it is not as pretty as expected. It is frustrating to see Knowshon unable to get into the secondary, where he makes all those ankle-shattering plays. It is frustrating to see our team falter in the end zone, when strong line play is key to scoring points. But as long as we're getting the W, I guess I can't complain. Go Dawgs!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Mega Drunk
So we went to a sports bar to watch the Georgia-Alabama game. We were happy. We drank beers. We ordered food. We talked with the rare football fan in the place. We had to ask three times to get the bar to switch the audio from Fall Out Boy to the game. Then the game started.
Brutal. Embarrassing. We could not out-drink that game. No matter how many beers I had, Georgia kept making it worse. My mom had a good point: How could the coaches let out team down so badly? How could our coaches leave our team so unprepared? It seemed like we were relying on the black-out gimmick and some imaginary home-field advantage, instead of game planning and execution. Two huge penalties against us during Alabama's first drive and it was over. Yeah, we out-scored them 30-10 in the 2nd half, but the game was over at halftime.
We fled the bar and suffered at home. The drinking contest between me and our team continued. Closing within two touchdowns only made the eventual loss even crueler. Everything after the third quarter is sort of blurry. Well, "sort of" is a bit of an understatement. The next morning I could only turn to my cell phone to figure out what had happened. My text messages had been cleared out because there were so many of them, but one gem remained, sent to D Rob. I'm paraphrasing here because I lost the original, but it went something like this:
"Will you know what is unknowable? It is a mystery. Please tell me because I'm running out me beer"
I also had an interesting conversation with Alex in which I called him a lesbian and described Nick Saban as "so in control and he can tell you when we will take a shit to the minute... 48 hours in advance".
Anyway, at least CBS is showing the Georgia-Tennessee game today. CBS does have some love for UGA, I'll give them that. Verne "The Human Potato" Lundquist calls all the Georgia games for CBS, and boy does he like us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qLkHr61Z2M
Brutal. Embarrassing. We could not out-drink that game. No matter how many beers I had, Georgia kept making it worse. My mom had a good point: How could the coaches let out team down so badly? How could our coaches leave our team so unprepared? It seemed like we were relying on the black-out gimmick and some imaginary home-field advantage, instead of game planning and execution. Two huge penalties against us during Alabama's first drive and it was over. Yeah, we out-scored them 30-10 in the 2nd half, but the game was over at halftime.
We fled the bar and suffered at home. The drinking contest between me and our team continued. Closing within two touchdowns only made the eventual loss even crueler. Everything after the third quarter is sort of blurry. Well, "sort of" is a bit of an understatement. The next morning I could only turn to my cell phone to figure out what had happened. My text messages had been cleared out because there were so many of them, but one gem remained, sent to D Rob. I'm paraphrasing here because I lost the original, but it went something like this:
"Will you know what is unknowable? It is a mystery. Please tell me because I'm running out me beer"
I also had an interesting conversation with Alex in which I called him a lesbian and described Nick Saban as "so in control and he can tell you when we will take a shit to the minute... 48 hours in advance".
Anyway, at least CBS is showing the Georgia-Tennessee game today. CBS does have some love for UGA, I'll give them that. Verne "The Human Potato" Lundquist calls all the Georgia games for CBS, and boy does he like us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qLkHr61Z2M
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Watching Game Day in Athens (from California)
The fans are LOUD! They're set up in front of Myers Hall and you can barely see the dorm behind the Game Day crew because there must be 75 signs held up. Some great examples:
Terrence Cody Ate My Family
Georgia's Gas Shortage is Actually Bama's Fault
Superman Wears Knowshon Pajamas
Helen Keller's Favorite Color is Knowshon
The Game Day crew is loving the crowd here, as Kirk agrees about the fans' "O-ver-ra-ted" chant regarding USC's puss-out against Oregon State. Kirk and Corso both agreed that UGA should be #1 if they win tonight, saying "It will be a beautiful thing! Georgia Number One!", and the crowd goes wild.
Man, I'm talking about these guys like a damn reality show. Except this one is based on college football, not who can jump on Flava Flav's limp dick the fastest or sing the crappiest version of "Unbreak My Heart".
Two Kingsford charcoal commercials featuring Georgia! Why am I excited? Much love for Rennie Curran - "short but wide, like Uga himself". Hmm... nice braces. Ooh, Curran Sr. offered his entire paycheck to God, and the next week his son gets the Georgia scholarship. Think the fact that God has Mark Richt on speed dial had anything to with that?
I really like the "S-E-C-" chant that has become popular the past few years. It just speaks again to the community and friendliness of the South. You know, all those eXtreme sports that emphasize individual action - motorcross, skateboarding, all that crap - began out here on the West Coast, where everyone is a self-centered douchebag.
3 of the 4 commentators picked Georgia as the best team in the SEC... and then Kirk chose Florida, and the crowd almost charged over barrier. Chris Fowler ducked below the desk and Corso moved to the other side of the desk to distance themselves from Kirk. Dangerous move, Kirk, dangerous move...
Chase Daniel's face looks like a butt. Like in that South Park episode. It's like he's had breast implants in his chin.
A 300-pound athlete frightens me. I couldn't imagine what would happen if a gigantic human like that would do to me. Each player on Alabama's O-line is over 300 pounds. How do you control 1500 pounds? Saban can game plan like no other, I just hope our defense can still stand up after this game. How do you prepare for that? Do you get your scout team to tie sandbags to their backs? And Cody is 6'5", THREE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-FIVE POUNDS, going against our true freshman center. Not good.
Also, I love me some Logan Gray. That guy does whatever the coaches say. "Gray! Go return punts!" "But I'm a quarterback!" "Whatever! Go out there and block Cody!" And hey, someone has a Ely-Kelso jersey out!
America's Vote is 52% for Bama... Uga on the set!!! Kirk picks UGA and is loving on Uga. Corso says he loves Georgia, would live in Athens... and picks Bama!! YES!! A guarentee of a Georgia win from Corso! KNOWSHON, NO PROBLEM!
Terrence Cody Ate My Family
Georgia's Gas Shortage is Actually Bama's Fault
Superman Wears Knowshon Pajamas
Helen Keller's Favorite Color is Knowshon
The Game Day crew is loving the crowd here, as Kirk agrees about the fans' "O-ver-ra-ted" chant regarding USC's puss-out against Oregon State. Kirk and Corso both agreed that UGA should be #1 if they win tonight, saying "It will be a beautiful thing! Georgia Number One!", and the crowd goes wild.
Man, I'm talking about these guys like a damn reality show. Except this one is based on college football, not who can jump on Flava Flav's limp dick the fastest or sing the crappiest version of "Unbreak My Heart".
Two Kingsford charcoal commercials featuring Georgia! Why am I excited? Much love for Rennie Curran - "short but wide, like Uga himself". Hmm... nice braces. Ooh, Curran Sr. offered his entire paycheck to God, and the next week his son gets the Georgia scholarship. Think the fact that God has Mark Richt on speed dial had anything to with that?
I really like the "S-E-C-" chant that has become popular the past few years. It just speaks again to the community and friendliness of the South. You know, all those eXtreme sports that emphasize individual action - motorcross, skateboarding, all that crap - began out here on the West Coast, where everyone is a self-centered douchebag.
3 of the 4 commentators picked Georgia as the best team in the SEC... and then Kirk chose Florida, and the crowd almost charged over barrier. Chris Fowler ducked below the desk and Corso moved to the other side of the desk to distance themselves from Kirk. Dangerous move, Kirk, dangerous move...
Chase Daniel's face looks like a butt. Like in that South Park episode. It's like he's had breast implants in his chin.
A 300-pound athlete frightens me. I couldn't imagine what would happen if a gigantic human like that would do to me. Each player on Alabama's O-line is over 300 pounds. How do you control 1500 pounds? Saban can game plan like no other, I just hope our defense can still stand up after this game. How do you prepare for that? Do you get your scout team to tie sandbags to their backs? And Cody is 6'5", THREE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-FIVE POUNDS, going against our true freshman center. Not good.
Also, I love me some Logan Gray. That guy does whatever the coaches say. "Gray! Go return punts!" "But I'm a quarterback!" "Whatever! Go out there and block Cody!" And hey, someone has a Ely-Kelso jersey out!
America's Vote is 52% for Bama... Uga on the set!!! Kirk picks UGA and is loving on Uga. Corso says he loves Georgia, would live in Athens... and picks Bama!! YES!! A guarentee of a Georgia win from Corso! KNOWSHON, NO PROBLEM!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Fond Reminiscences of the UGA - ASU game
The halfway-drunk older guy who spoke to us after the game while chomping a cigar, asking us why we Georgia fans were not running around screaming and looting. My first response was that "We're not jerks", like ASU fans are. He agreed. Then I said, "We should have won bigger. We weren't too impressive." To this he spouted off about being a scholar of college football, and that he wasn't religious but college football was as close to a religion as he would get, and concluded by saying that such a wise statement made his evening, before meandering off again with his cigar. What was that all about?
"Fork 'em Sparky!" while giving people the shocker.
Getting called faggots, assholes, and being told Georgia sucks before the game.
Getting called faggots, assholes, and being told Georgia sucks after the game.
Being told the night before the game that ASU was a famous party school, that they were always in the top 5 party schools in the nation, and that they wore t-shirts that read "We pre-game harder than you party!". By a Waffle House waitress.
Oh god the Waffle House!! Double order hashbrowns, smothered, covered, chunked. Bacon egg and cheese sandwich. They have them in Phoenix, but not L.A.
Walking into a Ruby Tuesday's about four blocks from the stadium around 11:30am on game day and being pleasently surprised that the place was packed with red-and-black-clad Georgia fans.
Asking the first ASU fans that walked in at 2:30pm what the hell their problem, was getting here so late.
Finding our amazing seats one section away from the UGA band, corner end zone, lower level, 20 rows from the sideline. And finding it half-full of Georgia fans.
Screaming "First Down, Georgia!!!" 14 times right into the faces of the middle-aged ASU semifans in the row in front of us during the 2nd quarter, when we scored 21 points.
Igonring the old people behind us telling us to sit down.
Watching the ASU fans empty the stadium... AT HALFTIME. So incredibly lame. Lame! Who does that? Who leaves the fucking HOME GAME STADIUM at halftime?!? Why even bother showing up? That is some weak-ass Pac-10 sauce.
Running along the chain-link fence around the field during half-time to see Uga VII up close and snap a few pictures.
Listening to some 5'2" ASU fan talk trash to us after the game.
Meeting a Georgia fan and his wife at a bar, and talking to them for half an hour about everything from football to how much California and Arizona suck balls. Then ten minutes after they leave, meeting two more Georgia fans, same conversation, and then we realize that they've been looking for their friend all night and Tiffany and I were just talking to him.
The racist, ever-drinking, possibly meth-using, possibly-homosexual redneck poser that was staying a few doors down from us at the America's Best Inn.
Getting drunk-ass phone calls and texts from Alex at 7 am.
Doing the "What's that coming down the tracks?!?" cheer with a bunch of drunk Georgia fans from a second-story balconey above the downtown Tempe bar scene.
Lots more... we took a ton of pictures of just about anything. The desert heat is fucking brutal! We drank 55 ounces of water during the game - never had to use the restroom. You could barely get drunk, the alcohol would evaporate out of your stomach! God it felt great just to talk to some real people. And whoop on the pathetic Pac-0, as they are now known. Too jealous of those going to the black out tomorrow. Go Dawgs!
"Fork 'em Sparky!" while giving people the shocker.
Getting called faggots, assholes, and being told Georgia sucks before the game.
Getting called faggots, assholes, and being told Georgia sucks after the game.
Being told the night before the game that ASU was a famous party school, that they were always in the top 5 party schools in the nation, and that they wore t-shirts that read "We pre-game harder than you party!". By a Waffle House waitress.
Oh god the Waffle House!! Double order hashbrowns, smothered, covered, chunked. Bacon egg and cheese sandwich. They have them in Phoenix, but not L.A.
Walking into a Ruby Tuesday's about four blocks from the stadium around 11:30am on game day and being pleasently surprised that the place was packed with red-and-black-clad Georgia fans.
Asking the first ASU fans that walked in at 2:30pm what the hell their problem, was getting here so late.
Finding our amazing seats one section away from the UGA band, corner end zone, lower level, 20 rows from the sideline. And finding it half-full of Georgia fans.
Screaming "First Down, Georgia!!!" 14 times right into the faces of the middle-aged ASU semifans in the row in front of us during the 2nd quarter, when we scored 21 points.
Igonring the old people behind us telling us to sit down.
Watching the ASU fans empty the stadium... AT HALFTIME. So incredibly lame. Lame! Who does that? Who leaves the fucking HOME GAME STADIUM at halftime?!? Why even bother showing up? That is some weak-ass Pac-10 sauce.
Running along the chain-link fence around the field during half-time to see Uga VII up close and snap a few pictures.
Listening to some 5'2" ASU fan talk trash to us after the game.
Meeting a Georgia fan and his wife at a bar, and talking to them for half an hour about everything from football to how much California and Arizona suck balls. Then ten minutes after they leave, meeting two more Georgia fans, same conversation, and then we realize that they've been looking for their friend all night and Tiffany and I were just talking to him.
The racist, ever-drinking, possibly meth-using, possibly-homosexual redneck poser that was staying a few doors down from us at the America's Best Inn.
Getting drunk-ass phone calls and texts from Alex at 7 am.
Doing the "What's that coming down the tracks?!?" cheer with a bunch of drunk Georgia fans from a second-story balconey above the downtown Tempe bar scene.
Lots more... we took a ton of pictures of just about anything. The desert heat is fucking brutal! We drank 55 ounces of water during the game - never had to use the restroom. You could barely get drunk, the alcohol would evaporate out of your stomach! God it felt great just to talk to some real people. And whoop on the pathetic Pac-0, as they are now known. Too jealous of those going to the black out tomorrow. Go Dawgs!
Friday, August 22, 2008
John McCain
Two news "events" have recently been spotlighted in the presidential race: first, that John McCain keeps referring to the non-existent country "Czechoslovakia", and second, that John McCain doesn't know how many houses he and his wife own. Neither of these are really news-worthy in the sense that deserve more than a passing mention - in fact, I doubt they would have lasted one news cycle if this wasn't an election year.
But being as it is, the Obama campaign and the media has made mention of these two items frequently over the past two weeks. Common extrapolations of the "don't know how many houses I have" McCain quote is typically the Democrats emphasizing that McCain is a "rich guy" that doesn't relate to the American populace, and that the Republicans are calling the Democrats out for playing low politics.
I don't buy any of that - it's spin on both sides, but then again, when is it not? I see these two quotes from McCain as the passing remarks that they are. But THAT is where the real story lies. That fact that McCain doesn't know that Czechoslovakia peacefully separated into the Czech Republic and Slovakia in 1993, and that he doesn't know how many houses he owns reveal (to me) a man who isn't fully plugged in. Now to be fair, I can only tell you that Czechoslovakia fact because I just looked it up - but I'm a Biology teacher, not running for President! This is like Bush mispronouncing half the countries in the world and the word "nuclear". The second quote is even more disturbing - it shows me a man who is not in control of his own life! I know that he is rich and his wife inherited umpteen millions of dollars, but not knowing how many houses you own?? Ridiculous! That last quote is especially damning in the light of the current state of the economy, when many people are losing their homes (albeit deservedly). McCain may be an experienced politician, but nobody would ever claim that a politician has a good sense of reality, and these two remarks fully support that idea.
But being as it is, the Obama campaign and the media has made mention of these two items frequently over the past two weeks. Common extrapolations of the "don't know how many houses I have" McCain quote is typically the Democrats emphasizing that McCain is a "rich guy" that doesn't relate to the American populace, and that the Republicans are calling the Democrats out for playing low politics.
I don't buy any of that - it's spin on both sides, but then again, when is it not? I see these two quotes from McCain as the passing remarks that they are. But THAT is where the real story lies. That fact that McCain doesn't know that Czechoslovakia peacefully separated into the Czech Republic and Slovakia in 1993, and that he doesn't know how many houses he owns reveal (to me) a man who isn't fully plugged in. Now to be fair, I can only tell you that Czechoslovakia fact because I just looked it up - but I'm a Biology teacher, not running for President! This is like Bush mispronouncing half the countries in the world and the word "nuclear". The second quote is even more disturbing - it shows me a man who is not in control of his own life! I know that he is rich and his wife inherited umpteen millions of dollars, but not knowing how many houses you own?? Ridiculous! That last quote is especially damning in the light of the current state of the economy, when many people are losing their homes (albeit deservedly). McCain may be an experienced politician, but nobody would ever claim that a politician has a good sense of reality, and these two remarks fully support that idea.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
A Non-Policy Comparison of Presidential-ness
I just watched President Bush give a press conference, followed immediately by Barack Obama delivering a speech on foreign policy. The contrast between the two is staggering.
Mr. Bush's press conference consisted of him rambling from topic to topic, never spending more than three minutes on any one idea, and leaning lazily against the podium so much that the camera actually had to follow him by moving laterally. His cavalier attitude, both in stance and speech, certainly does not give off an aura of even being vaguely presidential. His responses to reporter's questions were barely on topic. When asked to suggest when the economy might turnaround, he responded "I'm not an economist! Look at all these reporters, saying recession this, recession that, as if they were all economists!". What?
When asked if oil companies had fully explored the millions of acres they have under contract now, rather than opening up even more offshore drilling, Mr. Bush responded "You know, you don't have to drill on top of a reef anymore. They can drill, uh, horizontally. Like in Alaska, you can have one pad, and drill horizontally. We have the technology." What?
He also blamed the economy's woes on trade - specifically, with Columbia. Because Columbia is the lynch pin of the American economy. His complaint was that Columbia was placing a tariff on imported American goods while America did not on imported Columbian goods. Or as he put in, "You can buy stuff from Columbia duty free, but they're charging more for American goods. That's not fair. I don't understand that." What this man doesn't understand could fill the Pacific ocean.
It was then that he revealed he's 62 years old. This person is 62 years old and is on a podium, giving a press conference as the acting President of the United States of America, and he's blustering on, hardly answering questions some times and utterly failing to address them at others. He's exhibiting a shocking lack of knowledge or understanding about how the world works at any level, and he's leaning like a drunk. It was shameful. The only time I've seen an old person act like that is when he's three quarts drunk at a shady bar. Mr. Bush was acting like a damn fool.
Barack Obama, on the other hand, gave a thirty-minute speech while standing straight-backed, spoke clearly and intelligently, even inspirationally at time. It is true that he was giving a pre-written speech, but Mr. Bush could not hold a candle to Senator Obama in terms of acting presidential. When I listen to Senator Obama give a speech, or take questions from an audience, or debate another politician, I see someone who would hold the office of President with respect and dignity, and would be a role model citizen. I, yes I know it's trite, but I see hope. When I see Mr. Bush, I am embarrassed. I am just plain ashamed of him.
Mr. Bush's press conference consisted of him rambling from topic to topic, never spending more than three minutes on any one idea, and leaning lazily against the podium so much that the camera actually had to follow him by moving laterally. His cavalier attitude, both in stance and speech, certainly does not give off an aura of even being vaguely presidential. His responses to reporter's questions were barely on topic. When asked to suggest when the economy might turnaround, he responded "I'm not an economist! Look at all these reporters, saying recession this, recession that, as if they were all economists!". What?
When asked if oil companies had fully explored the millions of acres they have under contract now, rather than opening up even more offshore drilling, Mr. Bush responded "You know, you don't have to drill on top of a reef anymore. They can drill, uh, horizontally. Like in Alaska, you can have one pad, and drill horizontally. We have the technology." What?
He also blamed the economy's woes on trade - specifically, with Columbia. Because Columbia is the lynch pin of the American economy. His complaint was that Columbia was placing a tariff on imported American goods while America did not on imported Columbian goods. Or as he put in, "You can buy stuff from Columbia duty free, but they're charging more for American goods. That's not fair. I don't understand that." What this man doesn't understand could fill the Pacific ocean.
It was then that he revealed he's 62 years old. This person is 62 years old and is on a podium, giving a press conference as the acting President of the United States of America, and he's blustering on, hardly answering questions some times and utterly failing to address them at others. He's exhibiting a shocking lack of knowledge or understanding about how the world works at any level, and he's leaning like a drunk. It was shameful. The only time I've seen an old person act like that is when he's three quarts drunk at a shady bar. Mr. Bush was acting like a damn fool.
Barack Obama, on the other hand, gave a thirty-minute speech while standing straight-backed, spoke clearly and intelligently, even inspirationally at time. It is true that he was giving a pre-written speech, but Mr. Bush could not hold a candle to Senator Obama in terms of acting presidential. When I listen to Senator Obama give a speech, or take questions from an audience, or debate another politician, I see someone who would hold the office of President with respect and dignity, and would be a role model citizen. I, yes I know it's trite, but I see hope. When I see Mr. Bush, I am embarrassed. I am just plain ashamed of him.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Well Hello There
Culture is a weird thing. It can be defined any number of ways. For example, culture could be the collective beliefs about how to interpret the world. Or culture is the how a group of similar people interact. Or culture could be more specific, such as having a developed intellectual and artistic knowledges or abilities. However you define culture, I think broadly we can all agree that culture is a social phenomenon; that is, culture requires at least two people.
Now a group of people of any size can "build" or create culture. The drama club has its own culture. The baseball team generates its own culture. A neighborhood can have culture, and so can a town, or city, or region, and so on. Culture can be attributed to occupation, location, lifestyle, religion, or any number of qualifiers. And as such, one person can be measured as either a sum of these various cultural influences, or be seen as existing in different spheres of cultures, like a Venn diagram or something.
Culture determines what one deems important, what one values. If you are acculturated to an athletic climate, for example, you would value physical prowess and skill in sports. If you belong to an intellectual culture, you have a different set of values. Other cultures include agricultural verse industrial, familial verses communal, international versus local.
We live in a multicultural society in the truest sense. Ease of travel and an abundance of wealth means that it is possible to live almost anywhere in the world and within almost any culture. Individuals and groups, having much more freedom about where to live, will often choose a location that offers them the best opportunity for a good life. That means jobs, security, and freedom. For many, that means the United States of America.
We've all heard of the melting pot of America. Immigrants from all over the world arrive in America and become part of our cultural stew, being absorbed into the mix and adopting most of the characteristics of the stew, perhaps adding just a bit of their original flavor. But that analogy is out of date now. Modern models of America's culture deem the United States a 'salad', where each cultural leaf exists independently, not mixing into a relatively homogeneous whole.
To be cosmopolitan is to be culturally adaptable, to feel at home in a variety of cultures. If America is now a salad and not a soup, than Americans must become cosmopolitan. Otherwise, America will become more fragmented, dividing into culturally unique territories. This is accelerated on one hand by the rising cost of travel, meaning more people will remain in their local community. On the other hand, this individualization of the American countryside is and has been severely hampered by national corporations who stress conformity in their product at every location. Think Applebee's and Old Navy.
So, where do you want to be? Do you desire an America that is culturally whole, or a country that consists of unique stations? Think of your cultural adaptability - some cultures are very easy to adjust to, while others are discomforting and sometimes frightening. I can attest to the latter. After 19 months living in Southern California I still do not feel comfortable here, meaning that once I find a culture I like I'll probably stay there for a while. I love to travel, to visit other cultures, but perhaps I need to find a home culture first.
Now a group of people of any size can "build" or create culture. The drama club has its own culture. The baseball team generates its own culture. A neighborhood can have culture, and so can a town, or city, or region, and so on. Culture can be attributed to occupation, location, lifestyle, religion, or any number of qualifiers. And as such, one person can be measured as either a sum of these various cultural influences, or be seen as existing in different spheres of cultures, like a Venn diagram or something.
Culture determines what one deems important, what one values. If you are acculturated to an athletic climate, for example, you would value physical prowess and skill in sports. If you belong to an intellectual culture, you have a different set of values. Other cultures include agricultural verse industrial, familial verses communal, international versus local.
We live in a multicultural society in the truest sense. Ease of travel and an abundance of wealth means that it is possible to live almost anywhere in the world and within almost any culture. Individuals and groups, having much more freedom about where to live, will often choose a location that offers them the best opportunity for a good life. That means jobs, security, and freedom. For many, that means the United States of America.
We've all heard of the melting pot of America. Immigrants from all over the world arrive in America and become part of our cultural stew, being absorbed into the mix and adopting most of the characteristics of the stew, perhaps adding just a bit of their original flavor. But that analogy is out of date now. Modern models of America's culture deem the United States a 'salad', where each cultural leaf exists independently, not mixing into a relatively homogeneous whole.
To be cosmopolitan is to be culturally adaptable, to feel at home in a variety of cultures. If America is now a salad and not a soup, than Americans must become cosmopolitan. Otherwise, America will become more fragmented, dividing into culturally unique territories. This is accelerated on one hand by the rising cost of travel, meaning more people will remain in their local community. On the other hand, this individualization of the American countryside is and has been severely hampered by national corporations who stress conformity in their product at every location. Think Applebee's and Old Navy.
So, where do you want to be? Do you desire an America that is culturally whole, or a country that consists of unique stations? Think of your cultural adaptability - some cultures are very easy to adjust to, while others are discomforting and sometimes frightening. I can attest to the latter. After 19 months living in Southern California I still do not feel comfortable here, meaning that once I find a culture I like I'll probably stay there for a while. I love to travel, to visit other cultures, but perhaps I need to find a home culture first.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
The Lightning Storm
This lonely existence paves the way
For the hard of hearts must beat be brave
While this quiet lightning storm
Wrecks the harvest gold we try to sow
So it begins
The way the blood still dances beneath the skin
There's the messenger from hell says we're bound to win
As the days do come but the years do go
So take care of your freedom they'll never know
I sit on the wing for a blackbird song
To tell me where and when this all went wrong
There's no resolution without remorse
With ignorance's bliss yes let's state of course
Puncture the skin and see his blood run cold on desert sand
Come hear the meant for mothers with childless hands
As the days do come but the years do go
So take care of your freedom they'll never know
Take good care of your freedom they'll never know
As the days do come and the years do go
So take care of your freedom they'll never know
-Dave King
For the hard of hearts must beat be brave
While this quiet lightning storm
Wrecks the harvest gold we try to sow
So it begins
The way the blood still dances beneath the skin
There's the messenger from hell says we're bound to win
As the days do come but the years do go
So take care of your freedom they'll never know
I sit on the wing for a blackbird song
To tell me where and when this all went wrong
There's no resolution without remorse
With ignorance's bliss yes let's state of course
Puncture the skin and see his blood run cold on desert sand
Come hear the meant for mothers with childless hands
As the days do come but the years do go
So take care of your freedom they'll never know
Take good care of your freedom they'll never know
As the days do come and the years do go
So take care of your freedom they'll never know
-Dave King
Friday, May 16, 2008
Let's Push Things Forward
I have always railed against the idiocy of the general population: it is so prevalent and so easy. It is a little harder to pinpoint the source of the this idiocy. There are innumerable reasons for this stupidity, some more sinister than others, some more plausible than others.
A large factor in our national stupidity is the idea of making money. There is no such thing as "enough" anymore. I can't think of an advertisement, product, or hit song that offers the idea of contentment, of being satisfied, of being OK with being OK. It always has to be more: bigger cars, bigger homes, best clothes, spinnin' rims - they spinnin' they spinnin' they spinnin'!! And why would a company encourage the idea of enough? It doesn't make sense from a business standpoint. You need to convince your potential consumers that they have to buy your product. And as advertising has become more sophisticated with the advent of the technology age, sellers have exponentially increased their coverage of the public. When people are receiving thousands of conscious and unconscious signals every day telling them to buy, companies must make sure their product makes up as large a portion of that blitz as possible, lest they be drowned out. So, how does this make us stupid? The massive onslaught of suggestions and even demands to buy certain products overloads our inputs, and some people cave in. Caving in to buying huge homes they can't afford, new cars they don't need, and even attitudes that aren't their own!
So now you have a large population that is so inundated with a "buy first, also buy second" culture, the focus is not on matters of politics, economy, welfare, justice, or democracy: people focus on material goods because they feel they must maintain a lead in the world marketers have created for us. I am NOT saying that shopping for new clothes or nice things is bad or stupid, but when they become your first and only priority while the world around you is filled with so much that wrong, then yes, it is bad and stupid.
So, how come we are still stupid? With all of the awful things going on, from our government being a diseased shell of its former self, America mocked around the world, and seriously evil people running the show, why don't people care? Well, here's where the stupidity and the sinister smash into each other. Case in point: on Countdown with Keith Olbermann they did a story on conservative Los Angeles radio talk show host Kevin James. On May 15th, 2008, he appeared on Hardball with Chris Matthews spouting the latest Presidential "talking point", that speaking to terrorists is appeasement. Appeasement in this sense is referencing former British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, who essentially ceded a country that wasn't his (Czechoslovakia) to Adolf Hitler after meeting with the leader of the rising German nation. Comparing this appeasement with opening a dialog with those trying to kill us is, to the say the least, slightly less than idiotic. But leaving that alone, as it is par for the course with this administration, we'll return to Kevin James. James is literally shouting at host Chris Matthews and another guest about "appeasement" and "energizing the enemy" and several other phrases I'm sure he just learned. Matthews breaks in long enough to ask James point blank, "Do you know what appeasement is?" James continues shouting the same two sentences over and over and over again, while Matthews repeats his questions several different ways, finally stating, "You must answer this question: What exactly did Chamberlain do wrong?" James, after literally three minutes of non-stop screeching and parroting, finally admits he doesn't know.
And that right there is the conspiracy. This administration literally has people shouting out mindless phrases and slogans to misguide the public from its actions. Just earlier this month several retired generals came forth, saying the government hand-fed them information to regurgitate in public. And so many of us are so stupid that we're swallowing it.
But is it even a conspiracy? Perhaps it feels that way because the government is so brazen about it. There is no shadowy parking lots, no secret informants. It's not under-the-table, it's razzle-dazzle so bright you can't see the magician's hands, just the blinding flash. If you've read this far, thanks, I know that I get really wordy. Please, just take a moment from now on and think about everything you take in. Don't respond to something without pausing first. Don't buy into something without knowing why you're buying into it. I'm tired of watching the country slide down into this cesspool. We, as individuals, have to start pushing things forward. The battle is huge, and as an individual you can only affect yourself, so start there, and be yourself.
A large factor in our national stupidity is the idea of making money. There is no such thing as "enough" anymore. I can't think of an advertisement, product, or hit song that offers the idea of contentment, of being satisfied, of being OK with being OK. It always has to be more: bigger cars, bigger homes, best clothes, spinnin' rims - they spinnin' they spinnin' they spinnin'!! And why would a company encourage the idea of enough? It doesn't make sense from a business standpoint. You need to convince your potential consumers that they have to buy your product. And as advertising has become more sophisticated with the advent of the technology age, sellers have exponentially increased their coverage of the public. When people are receiving thousands of conscious and unconscious signals every day telling them to buy, companies must make sure their product makes up as large a portion of that blitz as possible, lest they be drowned out. So, how does this make us stupid? The massive onslaught of suggestions and even demands to buy certain products overloads our inputs, and some people cave in. Caving in to buying huge homes they can't afford, new cars they don't need, and even attitudes that aren't their own!
So now you have a large population that is so inundated with a "buy first, also buy second" culture, the focus is not on matters of politics, economy, welfare, justice, or democracy: people focus on material goods because they feel they must maintain a lead in the world marketers have created for us. I am NOT saying that shopping for new clothes or nice things is bad or stupid, but when they become your first and only priority while the world around you is filled with so much that wrong, then yes, it is bad and stupid.
So, how come we are still stupid? With all of the awful things going on, from our government being a diseased shell of its former self, America mocked around the world, and seriously evil people running the show, why don't people care? Well, here's where the stupidity and the sinister smash into each other. Case in point: on Countdown with Keith Olbermann they did a story on conservative Los Angeles radio talk show host Kevin James. On May 15th, 2008, he appeared on Hardball with Chris Matthews spouting the latest Presidential "talking point", that speaking to terrorists is appeasement. Appeasement in this sense is referencing former British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, who essentially ceded a country that wasn't his (Czechoslovakia) to Adolf Hitler after meeting with the leader of the rising German nation. Comparing this appeasement with opening a dialog with those trying to kill us is, to the say the least, slightly less than idiotic. But leaving that alone, as it is par for the course with this administration, we'll return to Kevin James. James is literally shouting at host Chris Matthews and another guest about "appeasement" and "energizing the enemy" and several other phrases I'm sure he just learned. Matthews breaks in long enough to ask James point blank, "Do you know what appeasement is?" James continues shouting the same two sentences over and over and over again, while Matthews repeats his questions several different ways, finally stating, "You must answer this question: What exactly did Chamberlain do wrong?" James, after literally three minutes of non-stop screeching and parroting, finally admits he doesn't know.
And that right there is the conspiracy. This administration literally has people shouting out mindless phrases and slogans to misguide the public from its actions. Just earlier this month several retired generals came forth, saying the government hand-fed them information to regurgitate in public. And so many of us are so stupid that we're swallowing it.
But is it even a conspiracy? Perhaps it feels that way because the government is so brazen about it. There is no shadowy parking lots, no secret informants. It's not under-the-table, it's razzle-dazzle so bright you can't see the magician's hands, just the blinding flash. If you've read this far, thanks, I know that I get really wordy. Please, just take a moment from now on and think about everything you take in. Don't respond to something without pausing first. Don't buy into something without knowing why you're buying into it. I'm tired of watching the country slide down into this cesspool. We, as individuals, have to start pushing things forward. The battle is huge, and as an individual you can only affect yourself, so start there, and be yourself.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Gangstar
Yesterday at 11:37 a.m. I began my first Spring Break as a member of the other side. Despite my now playing the role of teacher instead of student, you can be sure that I am just as excited about the week off as I was in previous years. But teaching is tiring, so last night was rent a movie night and drink Coors while eating pizza. Checking out of Blockbuster (with The Jerk) I notice they have a stand for the movie American Gangster with a stack of Limited Edition Double Wide Platinum Extra Footage DVDs With An Alternate Ending for sale.
Really quick, let's make sure we're on the same page here. American Gangster tells the story of Russell Crowe, an FBI agent who's rougher than a country road but has a moral compass that always shines true, and his decade-long pursuit of Harlem drug lord Denzel Washington. The movie got some good reviews, and rightly so - Crowe is a better actor than you'd think and Denzel just did his thing. And of course all the same douchebags who think Scarface is the end-all-be-all loved the film, even though it is nowhere close to Scarface. The movie is over two hours to begin with, so I can't imagine watching another twenty minutes of film that wasn't good enough in the first place, but here's the main thing: it is based on a true story. Yes, there really was a Harlem drug lord importing heroin from Vietnam, and yes, an FBI agent with a heart of gold really did spend years and years tracking him down. So, that's American Gangster. Back to the story...
THE MOVIE HAS AN ALTERNATE ENDING. Explain to me how that makes sense. A movie, based on a true story, has another, completely made-up ending. When that happens, we don't say it's based on a true story. How the fuck could a true story have an alternate ending? Why even make one? What, in the alternate ending Denzel Washington gets away, is elected Mayor of New York, and retires to raise chickens? Do aliens land and Russell Crowe is the only one who can stop them? Do they face off and have a twenty minute sword fight through the mountains of Scotland, ending when Crowe cuts off Denzel's head and shouts, "There can be only one!!"?
I tried to explain this to the clerk. He turned out to be one of those guys who thinks gangster movies are instructional videos for social interaction and thought American Gangster belonged in the canon of world class films. We parted ways, neither of us wiser but for different reasons.
Monday-Wednesday we'll be beach camping with about 20 other people, then Thursday-Monday I'll be in sweet Georgia. Somewhere in there I have to do my taxes. Oy.
Really quick, let's make sure we're on the same page here. American Gangster tells the story of Russell Crowe, an FBI agent who's rougher than a country road but has a moral compass that always shines true, and his decade-long pursuit of Harlem drug lord Denzel Washington. The movie got some good reviews, and rightly so - Crowe is a better actor than you'd think and Denzel just did his thing. And of course all the same douchebags who think Scarface is the end-all-be-all loved the film, even though it is nowhere close to Scarface. The movie is over two hours to begin with, so I can't imagine watching another twenty minutes of film that wasn't good enough in the first place, but here's the main thing: it is based on a true story. Yes, there really was a Harlem drug lord importing heroin from Vietnam, and yes, an FBI agent with a heart of gold really did spend years and years tracking him down. So, that's American Gangster. Back to the story...
THE MOVIE HAS AN ALTERNATE ENDING. Explain to me how that makes sense. A movie, based on a true story, has another, completely made-up ending. When that happens, we don't say it's based on a true story. How the fuck could a true story have an alternate ending? Why even make one? What, in the alternate ending Denzel Washington gets away, is elected Mayor of New York, and retires to raise chickens? Do aliens land and Russell Crowe is the only one who can stop them? Do they face off and have a twenty minute sword fight through the mountains of Scotland, ending when Crowe cuts off Denzel's head and shouts, "There can be only one!!"?
I tried to explain this to the clerk. He turned out to be one of those guys who thinks gangster movies are instructional videos for social interaction and thought American Gangster belonged in the canon of world class films. We parted ways, neither of us wiser but for different reasons.
Monday-Wednesday we'll be beach camping with about 20 other people, then Thursday-Monday I'll be in sweet Georgia. Somewhere in there I have to do my taxes. Oy.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Long, long day
I ain't even got the energy to watch a movie right now. Being drunk helps though. I'm finally finished with my credential program! Unless the university finds me an inappropriate teacher, I'm certified. You'll excuse me while I pass out on the couch.
Long, long day
I ain't even got the energy to watch a movie right now. Being drunk helps though. I'm finally finished with my credential program! Unless the university finds me an inappropriate teacher, I'm certified. You'll excuse me while I pass out on the couch.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Important News!
Nylons are turning 70! Nobody cares about that though. My girlfriend and her dance company were filmed for an American Apparel commercial! Allow it to burn into your eyeballs here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s3hznuMsvE
Guess which fine lady I get to take home every night? That's right, all of 'em. Giggity giggity! Ha ha, no, I'm just being funny! The answer is Tiffany.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s3hznuMsvE
Guess which fine lady I get to take home every night? That's right, all of 'em. Giggity giggity! Ha ha, no, I'm just being funny! The answer is Tiffany.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Get Away, Gonna Detonate
I am just about to explode! I feel like going on a five day bender. I've just got so much work piling on! It's the last quarter I have as an undergraduate, and in order to earn my teaching credential I have to, in addition to passing a bunch of asinine classes, put together a "PACT" - Performance Assessment of California Teachers. It consists of 32 double-spaced pages of "reflection" and "context" spread over 4 assignments, a full lesson plan for an entire unit (mine is 9 days = 9 complete lesson plan write-ups), a 20 minute video of you teaching one of those lessons, and a "daily journal" for each one of those days in the unit. It's due Feb. 27th. I've done 6 pages of write up, completed my lesson plans (mostly). And, um... that's it. On top of that I've got a midterm due Wednesday that I haven't started. Also, I work full time, which doesn't include the unknowable amount of time outside of "the office" I have to put in. Sometimes I wish for a job that begins at 9 and ends at 5 and once I'm out I'm DONE for the day! But being a teacher, it's your life! For example, right now I'm slogging my way through grading, easily one of the biggest time-consuming activities aside from planning ahead. Which I suck at. Let's see, I also just moved into a new apartment (which is super nice though, so that helps), AND I've had the goddamn flu since Friday! Christ! So I spent my 3 day weekend hacking up pieces of my throat and/or lungs while trying to find the energy to focus on accomplishing at least one of the above tasks! I'm finally rebounding a bit - although my chest and back muscles are sore from coughing so much yesterday.
What sucks is that I always get like this right before the "end" of some big task in my life. I know that if I gut it out for the next 16 days I'll be able to knock this thing out and get high marks on everything, but being so close to what I've been working towards for more than a year, and gone through so much crap, all I can think about is slamming whiskeys and beer and singing shantys. Shanties? Jaunty tunes!! BUT assuming I make it and don't crack, in mid-March I will be a California Certified Teacher (for what that's worth)!!
Tiffany and I did venture out to THE HIGH DESERT (think the set of Mad Max or that desert planet Mark Hamil grew up on. Hey, the spell checker didn't pick up "Hamil". Nerds.) to see about a Manx friend for our current pet, a toaster with legs. Saturday morning should find us with dos gatos! Now I won't feel so bad about having to leave the cat alone for 17 hours a day because I'm out gnawing through my fingers during a three hour class about NOTHING AT ALL THANKS GOD I'M THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT NOW.
Christ, I need a drink. Road trip!
What sucks is that I always get like this right before the "end" of some big task in my life. I know that if I gut it out for the next 16 days I'll be able to knock this thing out and get high marks on everything, but being so close to what I've been working towards for more than a year, and gone through so much crap, all I can think about is slamming whiskeys and beer and singing shantys. Shanties? Jaunty tunes!! BUT assuming I make it and don't crack, in mid-March I will be a California Certified Teacher (for what that's worth)!!
Tiffany and I did venture out to THE HIGH DESERT (think the set of Mad Max or that desert planet Mark Hamil grew up on. Hey, the spell checker didn't pick up "Hamil". Nerds.) to see about a Manx friend for our current pet, a toaster with legs. Saturday morning should find us with dos gatos! Now I won't feel so bad about having to leave the cat alone for 17 hours a day because I'm out gnawing through my fingers during a three hour class about NOTHING AT ALL THANKS GOD I'M THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT NOW.
Christ, I need a drink. Road trip!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Welcome to the Club
I'm of two minds when it comes to specialized vocabulary. That's what is so great about the English language: anyone can make up a word, and inside of a few months it can be part of mainstream speech. But that is why it is so difficult to learn - half of it is made up and new words are created when its convenient. This extends to any trade, be it engineering, farming, aeronautics, or even more abstract practices such as finance, economics, and the like (well at least abstract to me. I am damn clueless when it comes to wheelings and dealings). For example, today on the radio I heard a a lady talking about your "financial horizon". That sounds like something used to pitch time shares on Jupiter! Supposedly it refers to how long you will be holding onto a financial... piece, thingy, like a 401k for retirement. What's wrong with "long term goal"? Teaching and education uses an unbelievable amount of kerfuffle in its "scholarly" articles. Terminology includes "compulsively disruptive kids" (CDKs), "people-first language" (Good: student who is emotionally disturbed. Bad: emotionally disturbed student. Fired: fucking shitheel) and "University of California Riverside Graduate School of Education" (retirement home for washed up, self-important, day-late-dollar-short instructors.. except for one! Maybe two).
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Le Sigh
I know this is old, but I just saw it. It's worth it, even stomaching Whoopi Goldberg for a minute, to watch to the end (2:23) when Sherri Shepard drops the biggest turd of ignorance after a bunch of moderately sized turds of ignorance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehWv_qlKxSg
Problem is, I watched this and wasn't even fazed. Daily I see jackasses of all shapes and sizes that I'm immune to it. I've been shell shocked, desensitized, jaded. And that's what is scariest, when you lose your anger at this sort of thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehWv_qlKxSg
Problem is, I watched this and wasn't even fazed. Daily I see jackasses of all shapes and sizes that I'm immune to it. I've been shell shocked, desensitized, jaded. And that's what is scariest, when you lose your anger at this sort of thing.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
More Good News from Fabulous Fontana!
"Most Southern California residents are at less risk of contracting cancer from air pollution than they were in the late 1990s -- except in parts of the Inland area... [T]he study showed Fontana has the highest cancer risk from air pollution... of any residential community in Southern California... Fontana was the only location where the cancer risk increased since a similar study seven years earlier."
http://www.pe.com/localnews/inland/stories/PE_News_Local_D_air05.2b338bb.html
Fontana - where it's actually safer to smoke indoors!
We're thinking about moving to a nicer area now that I'm rolling in big teacher money. Plus student loan money and dead grandmother money. UGA finished the year in college football ranked #2 in the AP poll and #3 in the coaches poll, giving USC about 10 points in the voting either way. And some guy already has us tagged for #1 preseason for 2008. Woo!
Just two more quarters, both in university and high school... June is zero hour. Has anyone seen the Daily Show now that it is just Jon Stewart writing? Is it funny? Not that I would watch it, I'm usually asleep round 'bout that time (I PARTY HARD!). Until we meet again!
http://www.pe.com/localnews/inland/stories/PE_News_Local_D_air05.2b338bb.html
Fontana - where it's actually safer to smoke indoors!
We're thinking about moving to a nicer area now that I'm rolling in big teacher money. Plus student loan money and dead grandmother money. UGA finished the year in college football ranked #2 in the AP poll and #3 in the coaches poll, giving USC about 10 points in the voting either way. And some guy already has us tagged for #1 preseason for 2008. Woo!
Just two more quarters, both in university and high school... June is zero hour. Has anyone seen the Daily Show now that it is just Jon Stewart writing? Is it funny? Not that I would watch it, I'm usually asleep round 'bout that time (I PARTY HARD!). Until we meet again!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Learning about Genetics
I'm grading student work covering an introduction to genetics. One of the assignments given as a "Do Now Activity" to get students in their seats and working at the beginning of class was "Write down 3 things you want to learn about genetics". Now, most people did well on this. There are no right or wrong answers, as long as you put 3 things about genetics you got the three points. Of course some students only put 2, or 1, or wrote down the numbers 1, 2, and 3 but left them blank. Nice. Then there is this one I just read and had to make as public as I know how. Remember, the assignment is: Write down three things you want to learn about genetics.
Response (verbatim):
"How feel when your wife have a baby and you can do sex?"
"What happen when two mans do a sex?"
Oh god I wish I could make this stuff up.
Response (verbatim):
"How feel when your wife have a baby and you can do sex?"
"What happen when two mans do a sex?"
Oh god I wish I could make this stuff up.
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