Gangstar

Yesterday at 11:37 a.m. I began my first Spring Break as a member of the other side. Despite my now playing the role of teacher instead of student, you can be sure that I am just as excited about the week off as I was in previous years. But teaching is tiring, so last night was rent a movie night and drink Coors while eating pizza. Checking out of Blockbuster (with The Jerk) I notice they have a stand for the movie American Gangster with a stack of Limited Edition Double Wide Platinum Extra Footage DVDs With An Alternate Ending for sale.

Really quick, let's make sure we're on the same page here. American Gangster tells the story of Russell Crowe, an FBI agent who's rougher than a country road but has a moral compass that always shines true, and his decade-long pursuit of Harlem drug lord Denzel Washington. The movie got some good reviews, and rightly so - Crowe is a better actor than you'd think and Denzel just did his thing. And of course all the same douchebags who think Scarface is the end-all-be-all loved the film, even though it is nowhere close to Scarface. The movie is over two hours to begin with, so I can't imagine watching another twenty minutes of film that wasn't good enough in the first place, but here's the main thing: it is based on a true story. Yes, there really was a Harlem drug lord importing heroin from Vietnam, and yes, an FBI agent with a heart of gold really did spend years and years tracking him down. So, that's American Gangster. Back to the story...

THE MOVIE HAS AN ALTERNATE ENDING. Explain to me how that makes sense. A movie, based on a true story, has another, completely made-up ending. When that happens, we don't say it's based on a true story. How the fuck could a true story have an alternate ending? Why even make one? What, in the alternate ending Denzel Washington gets away, is elected Mayor of New York, and retires to raise chickens? Do aliens land and Russell Crowe is the only one who can stop them? Do they face off and have a twenty minute sword fight through the mountains of Scotland, ending when Crowe cuts off Denzel's head and shouts, "There can be only one!!"?

I tried to explain this to the clerk. He turned out to be one of those guys who thinks gangster movies are instructional videos for social interaction and thought American Gangster belonged in the canon of world class films. We parted ways, neither of us wiser but for different reasons.

Monday-Wednesday we'll be beach camping with about 20 other people, then Thursday-Monday I'll be in sweet Georgia. Somewhere in there I have to do my taxes. Oy.

Long, long day

I ain't even got the energy to watch a movie right now. Being drunk helps though. I'm finally finished with my credential program! Unless the university finds me an inappropriate teacher, I'm certified. You'll excuse me while I pass out on the couch.

Long, long day

I ain't even got the energy to watch a movie right now. Being drunk helps though. I'm finally finished with my credential program! Unless the university finds me an inappropriate teacher, I'm certified. You'll excuse me while I pass out on the couch.