Saturday Morning

Two words: COLLEGE GAMEDAY.

I have to go to my school and diddle around my room for a while, get familiar with the area, and then I'm off to the sports bar. Last night it occurred to me that sitting in a sports bar with a lap top is kinda really dorky, I don't think that'll hold me back. So I'm up at 6:45 a.m., watching COLLEGE GAMEDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 8 MONTHS, before a full day of hootin' and hollerin'. I'm doing this for you.

"$11.50 for a hamburger? Y'all must be crazy!" You get 'em, sassy black Miller High Life representative.

Rece Davis: "Will Erik Ainge's pinky hold up?" Thrilling. They did say that the UGA / OK. State will probably the be the most fun game to watch because of Oklahoma State's no-huddle, spread offense. I did know that OK State scored many points per game last year, but playing at Athens? That's an automatic minus-35 to your points-per-game, unless your Tennessee.

"What do you think about playing easy games in the beginning of the season?" "Not so fast my friend!" What? Corso must have a quota on that phrase.

When ESPN is on commercial, ESPN2 is asking Herbstriet some more football questions. ESPN BRINGS YOU NONSTOP, ENDLESS, MOSTLY POINTLESS COVERAGE!

Mark Richt on the upcoming game against an opponant that averaged 200 yards passing AND 200 yards rushing per game: "I will say this: We ought to improve quite a bit as time goes on," Richt said. "Three or four games into the season I would think we would be a whole lot better." Way to inspire confidence there, guy.

Avast!

Well, I got hired. Tuesday morning Fontana Unified School District gave me a ring a ling ding doo and I accepted before they got past the word "offer". This is sort of validating the last 8 months of my life. No more poorness for me! It'll be nice to actually be doing something with myself too, instead of slinging chicken wings until 2 a.m. However they didn't want to hire me when I first sent my application in, back in August. They had to wait until SEVEN DAYS before the first day of class, including Labor Day. They did this because I'm basically the lowest turtle in the tower and must have been pretty desperate. Because of the short notice I will most likely miss the first few days of class - so I'll have a class, I just can't teach it. There are a multitude of reasons for this: I have to go to some new teacher seminars (tomorrow from 8a - 3p), sign some contracts, blah blah, but most importantly I have to have be tested for tuberculosis - for the second time - and be fingerprinted - electronically - for the THIRD time. Because districts cannot share ANY information, there is this insane redundancy, which is why the tower's collapsed on 9/11, I informed the unfortunate receptionist who scheduled my fingerprinting for 7:50 a.m. on Wednesday Sept. 4th, the day AFTER my class starts. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I hate California.

September first is football day. Check this out: the first games kickoff at noon ET, or 9 a.m. PT. The sports bar I work (soon to be worked) at is opening at 9 a.m. to accommodate the socially inept such as myself. Now here's the great/sad part: Hawaii, a top 25 team, kicks off at midnight ET, or 9 p.m. PT. I could conceivably open and close this restaurant while watching nothing but college football. Hold it - genius idea - the place has free wireless internet! I could do a running update of my day drinking six dollar beers and eating dozens of chicken wings! I AM MIGHTY. David, recent GA transplant, has said he will watch some football with me. I don't know if he's up for the sort of quest I'm talking about, but shit, I'm actually starting to get behind this idea. I'll justify it as my last irresponsible act before becoming a teacher. Sweet.

Remember when playing football was all you thought about?

Roddy White still sucks.

"A Duke University study that appeared in the Archives of Internal Medicine found 184 lost workdays per 100 obese full-time employees versus 14 lost workdays per 100 normal-weight full-time employees." - CNN article

The article mentions that the CDC would like to see an "obesity czar" appointed... I don't think that's the right solution. Why are people fat? Why are so many - 1 out of every 3 people in Mississippi, for example - obese? People don't see a need not to be fat. Shame on you, fatties! Shame on you, fat Americans! I do not find overweight or obesity acceptable. If I am stuck in Iraq with several fat people and I come under attack from Islamo-fascists who want to kill us because we are Americans and love freedom, I will, without hesitation, throw the fat people in the way of any incoming gunfire, IEDs, RPGs, or rocks and immediately grab one of the many guns laying about the place and start shooting the fatties too, hoping to both fool the terrorists into thinking I am one of them and also slaughtering enough long-pig to feed the Middle East for six weeks.

Final argument: LivingXL.
Check and mate.

Hilarious sendup of previous website: here

I'm a Graduate, Again, Sorta

Monday I had my first two graduate level courses. I was nervous going to class, because I was thinking two things: one, I've never been to a graduate course before, I'll have no idea what is expected of me!; two, Finally I'll be taking classes at UC Riverside that are challenging and will learn much about myself and the world!

Now my astute readers will note the huge, glaring cancerous tumor of a problem with the above sentence, and that tumor is commonly diagnosed as "Riverside" with side effects that include "false optimism" and "naive expectation".

Each class proceeded in exactly the same way: 35 students each introduce themselves, where they are in the program, and an interesting fact about themselves. This took about 40 minutes. Then the instructors read their respective syllabi to us (I was going to make a sarcastic joke about the necessity of this, being illiterate graduate students and all, but then I thought of the caliber of student enrolled here and decided it was a wise move by the instructors), and then in one class we watched clips of the Andy Griffith show (I'm not shitting you) and the other was dismissed.

As far as I can tell, these graduate level courses are no different than regular classes (at UC Riverside) with the exception of a lot of assigned reading of trade journals and such. One class requires two 2-page essays and a 5-page essay; the other requires two 2-page essays. I hate Riverside. Quickly: had a discussion two weeks ago with a professor who noticed how bored/angry/disgruntled I was in class. Turns out we were on the same page. His exact words: "the students here are fucking morons", and on the subject of the College of Education: "the whole place is awful, but don't let them wear you down!". I hate Riverside.

A Post For Drunkards

I used to be a stereotype
Half alive with half open eyes
With a one track mind
And a flawed design
Feeling like I was lost at sea
At only the age of 19
Floating around in alcohol and apathy
Taking in too much caffeine and nicotine

If we make it outta here alive
Just say you won't look back to see
Just who we left behind (there might not be a next time)

With all the ups and downs and turn arounds
To the breaking up to breaking down
Yeah we were the ones to say (there might not be a next time)

I used to be a stereotype
Someone you'd never recognize
With fingers so yellow
That they matched the yellow skies
And there was a few things I memorized
From all those blurry times
Like bottles clinking under blinking signs
And a few last words from long lost friends of mine

If we make it out of here alive
Just say you won't look back to see
Just who we left behind (there might not be a next time)

With all the ups and downs and turn arounds
To the breaking up to breaking down
Yeah we were the ones to say (there might not be a next time)

After all the fuck ups and fallouts
With all the ups and downs and turn arounds
Through all the breaking up to breaking down
Yeah we were the ones to say
There might not be a next time (might not be a next time)

Words to live by:
we're all doing just fine

---AND---

i might as well just sleep it off
wishful thinking's got my wires crossed
when i am desperate and alone
i know i know i know how low i go

so i'll drive and disappear
and maybe if i'm luck by this time next year
no one i know will know my name
it's either change or go or i'll explode today
i'll leave a note on my machine
unplug the phone and finish packing all my things
i found a photograph of me
its been such a slow decay
day to day i don't even recognize my own face

i had another breakdown
and i'm floating face down
i might as well just sleep it off
wishful thinking's got my wires crossed
when i am desperate and alone
i know i know i know how low i go

i'm going to sleep it off
this sinking feeling of always feeling lost
hasn't been that long
six years worth of always being wrong
i met an old friend out on the street
trade stories and out of date memories
and she has a photograph of me it's been such a slow decay day to day
did we seem much happier in those days

its been a slow decay
day to day i don't even recognize my face

Multicultural Education

Of course Western thought and teachings is what dominates American schools. This is the Western hemisphere, we were founded on a Western philosophy, and we have been growing as a Western nation for centuries. But now we have a global community and borders are fading. Students have rapid access to ideas and materials that would have taken years to obtain in the past. So, should we teach non-Western ideas in schools?

My first response is yes, absolutely. By teaching students about different philosophies, governments, literature, and histories you create a more well-rounded person. The counter-argument is the basis for our entire educational system: What's the point? Why? Will students need to know about Genghis Kahn's conquest and unification of Asia? When will they ever use such information? This viewing lens is called "Essentialism", and is how we dictate what is and isn't taught in public schools. The problem with this is it creates unfinished machines, not an educated populace. In Essentialism, there is no need for art, music, dance, or physical education - and guess where those school programs have gone?

And now look at what we have in our schools: hours upon hours devoted to cramming English, Math, History (whose?), and Science into kids' often uncaring skulls. Schools are not about obtaining an education anymore, they have become institutions that promote the status quo. In the deformed spirit of Essentialism, which prunes down school work to just what students will need to survive in the real world, a huge piece of humanity is missing: the creative, the desire for self-directed learning, the growth of the inner self, the ability to understand the world in different ways and experience different points of view.

The other side of the coin is, where's the time? There is only so much learning that can occur, or that students will be able to sit through, in a day, week, month, and year. Also there is the whole state testing thing, but I'm going to leave that clusterfuck alone. The most tangible benefit of teaching a wide spectrum of ideas and cultures is the creation of an intrinsic motivation to learn. I feel that once students see the breadth of the world's knowledge consists not of the tripe mandated by government officials, they will desire to know about the world on their own terms. This is what Mr. Jefferson refers to when he desires an educated population, the only kind that can support a true democracy. Otherwise you have a nation of people who will simply believe whatever they are told, because that's how they've been taught their whole lives.

Short Post

I was writing a much longer post, but stopped and saved it because I ran into a mental brick wall. So in brief:

Shark Week is starting at the end of July with the story of the "worst shark attack ever", which apparently occur ed when the U.S.S. Indianapolis sunk, leaving the survivors to the mercy of the sea. That scares the shit out of me. Imagine floating in the middle of the ocean, hundreds of miles from any coast, suspended miles above the ocean floor by an infinite amount of cold water and miles below the infinite blackness of cold space. Jesus, that sends chills down my spine.

I had back surgery, sort of. In the never-ending quest to stop my lower back/hip/leg from hurting, I've tried physical therapy, stretching, yoga, prescription anti-inflammatory medications, MRIs, X-rays, and now injections. It all started on New Years 2004/05, when Jeff accidentally broke my left leg. Being stubborn, I refused to use the campus handicap vans and still drove to campus, rode the bus, and hopped everywhere on crutches. Now I have all sorts of problems with my right leg - the MRI seems to have ruled out a slipped disk, so they're telling me it's a ligament problem. Anyway, they shot me full of steroids Thursday and so far I think I feel a little improvement. Luckily I'm in the middle of three straight night shifts at work, giving my back no time whatsoever to recover. Go me!

Hmm... got turned down by another high school - that makes four! I have to be hired by a school as a teacher before the Fall Quarter starts, as per my retarded-as-fuck university requirements (retardation stems from many, many different points; this requirement is in fact one of the least retarded things about the program). I've been called to interview by four high schools, so I don't think it's a problem with how I look on paper. I just may be giving really crap interviews, which seems unlikely since that's usually where I excel. But maybe I'm not saying the right things, or don't know how to say them. It's all very regimented. Every school asks me more or less the same questions off a printout that I'm sure comes standardized by the board of education. If I don't get hired as a teacher, chances are I'm going to stop wasting my time and money with the fucking UC system and drop out, work full time and save enough to get the fuck out of this shithole state.

In other news, I hate southern california. Peace love toast crunch!